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hello [31 Jul 2007|02:03am]

systris
this community needs a shot in the arm...i'm sorry that i created and then abandoned it. meanwhile, i'm slowly working with someone in my area to develop a local (philly metro area)spinster society that would bring unmarried childfree women together for networking and fun.


so....what's been up with you all?
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[22 Jun 2007|07:33pm]

rasputynne
[ mood | happy ]

hello~ i hope that nobody minds seeing this crossposted a couple times~ i am a 28~year~old spinster in search of like~minded friends. if my profile and journal grab your interest at all, please consider adding me. it would be nice to make some new friends with this huge part of me in common. i'd also love to see these comms get active again, and would be happy to help out.

thanks for reading this post, and have a beautiful day.~

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newbie [25 Aug 2005|05:03pm]

wicked_sassy
Hi, I just joined the community. I'm Deena. I'm 24 years old and currently in the second year of my master's degree in sociology. I like to call myself a quirkyslut.
4 comments|post comment

folks - check this out [10 Apr 2005|09:45pm]

systris
http://www.spinsterspin.com/

there's blogging and podcasting and a craft corner...this rocks the socks!!!
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happy holidays! [27 Nov 2004|11:11am]

systris
what's going on in your neck of the woods? did you have to deal with family at t-giving this year? did you have a dinner by yourself? what's going on with you for christmas-chanukka-kwaanza-solstice-advent-festivius-(fill in the blank) this year...

let's chat and share!
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disgustingly interesting. [16 Oct 2004|07:47pm]

the_mad_poet
http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99996533

I thought this might interest the community. I will post it in similar communities. Also check out AVEN, which is mentioned in the article.

Totally worth reading if you ask me. Maybe that's because this is a topic I think of routinely in my days, and I had no idea it was currently being researched and given names, although I've said 'asexual' since no other term seems to fit. =D
1 comment|post comment

[09 Oct 2004|12:48am]

systris
in the quirkyalone community...i was raising the question of sameknotting or marrying one's self and so i created yet another community... sameknotting. join up if you are interested...
3 comments|post comment

can i rant a minute? [03 Oct 2004|11:19pm]

systris
[ mood | rambling ]

i had a tense run in with my ex-fiance and his new girlfriend. its not like i wanted him back but i hated the way that they made me feel for a while. but then i remember how good life alone is treating me and now that i look at it....he did me a big favor by fucking up the relationship we had.

i never would have known the freedom of being able to follow my own path, to not be bound by obligations to others, or to have to play a role as a partner in a burdensome coupleship.

as i look at the discarded wedding crap i bought when my ex and i were together, i see how much of a racket marriage is...millions of young women are being sold into this big scam about how much ONE day out of their lives makes their whole existance valid and then the 'happily ever after' bullshit that they expect from having an overpriced fairy tale wedding. nevermind the aspect of divorce and adultery, broken and dysfunctional homes that often are a result of the skewered expectations of those misplaced dreams, as a woman you are expected to conform and seek out this dream no matter what.

that means the Rules, hurrydating, singles bars, blind dates, online personals, and all that other bullshit people try to sell you on that 'true love' lie. not to mention the movies and tv shows of the ever present neurotic woman searching for that one man to make everything finally go right in her life...as opposed to doing that for herself.
you end up in a sick cycle of kissing frogs to end up with a supposed prince. fuck all that shit. i'm glad i broke my chains, i'm damn glad to be a woman of independent means. i know the truth now....the truest love i should seek, is the love, respect and honor that i should have for myself.

3 comments|post comment

[17 Sep 2004|09:34pm]

_kiai
Wow, I cant believe I found a community like this :D
Im so happy.

Well I may as well introduce myself, Im kaylee btw. I am firmly against the idea that women need a man. What is with this stupid indented belief that people need someone to share life with? Date after date to find 'that man'...er no. I'll pass. I have a life to live. Independently, as I LOVE it.

Anyhow, just popped by to say hi to everyone :D
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blog alert... [14 Sep 2004|11:39pm]

systris
21st century spinster....check it out
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food... [13 Sep 2004|11:25pm]

systris
[ mood | curious ]

you know i've been thinking a lot about food...mainly because i'm running low on groceries and have yet to get paid this week and i'm dreaming of the many things i can buy once i do.

one thing that i wanted to do for myself is get all gussied up and book a table for one at a local hotel for their famous champagne brunches sometime soon...BUT since i'm too broke to think about that...i'd have to make a nice brunch for myself some sunday morning...

so how about it? anyone have any super recipes/tea recommendations/ideas for a sunday brunch for one?

1 comment|post comment

time I introduced myself [08 Sep 2004|11:18am]

wasabi_poptart
Howdy.

I found this community on quirkyalone.

I'm a confimed Spinster who delights in this uncompromising lifestyle. I do what I love and love what I do. I answer to no one, live by my own rules, and eat cereal whenever I feel like it.

I turn 35 next month and have learned the secret to eternal youth is unrepentant immaturity. And plenty of sunscreen.

I do not stand up and shout. I prefer to sit back and smile.
1 comment|post comment

stuck in the doorway. [04 Sep 2004|01:19am]

the_mad_poet
hello all.

I'm not posting this to turn around and be a bigot. I've actually been meaning to post this since I made my inital post.

while I think it is important that those women (or even men) who know they do not 'need' to be with others at all times, or even every once in a while, to be satiated in their lives, I also think, at least in my recent uptake of modesty, that we shouldn't have to go around blurting this out. it is perfectly fine to state what you believe, what you follow, what you practice, what you are. but I am not totally in tune with the whole 'what you are' thing, in this respect.

a comparison good to use here would be JLo. she has this tendency to have to defend herself, what or who she "still" is. take for instance, the song "I'm real". if you know it, then...you know it. good. then there's "I'm still Jenny from the block." and she is once again defending herself. well, if she's so very...what she is...should she have to defend that all the time? if she truly is these things, shouldn't we then know it without her having to make mention of it?

this is how I feel about what or who we are. personally, I'd rather be a who than a what. but that's just me. don't get me wrong. you should be true to yourself. once in a while, if the situation arises and someone asks you about your viewpoints or personal mannerisms and takings on life, it's perfectly fine to tell them how it is that you function. but I don't think anyone, regardless of the attribute up for discussion, should have to go around saying I'm this-I'm that-I'm a punk-I'm emo (okay that's just loser-ish in itself), I'm sxe-I'm atheist-I'm what-the-hell-ever. it all sounds ridiculous to me. what are you? you're a what. one of the aforementioned labels. and labels...I don't see why anyone should need labels to know what they are. I feel this about most things.

so while I do support us and our personal decisions and outlooks, I don't think we should have to go around shouting it from the rooftops to make ourselves more authentic. it seems almost a bit contradictory to me. just be.

on that note, I hope everyone is doing well & enjoy the holiday weekend!
4 comments|post comment

salutations & such. [16 Aug 2004|05:30am]

the_mad_poet
hello all, even if all is a small number at this point.

as I mentioned in comments to arrogance and elizasdream, you ladies are inspiring. I can pretty much totally empathise with what you've said; it is incredibly awesome to me.

I really wonder sometimes if my family does secretly worry about me, thinking I'm a lesbian or just in some sick mode of self-consciousness. and it's neither of those things. I am pretty narcissistic overall, but I like to think I'm the decent brand of it, if you can imagine that.

and I am quite adamant about making clear that if dating should be done, and anything should go further than that, going by Hollywood's lines is the ultimate no-no in life! I think of Jerry McGuire and how one of them says "you complete me". I used to believe that. then I grew up and got my own brain to think. it's not about "completing", it's about "complimenting". I'm not totally against dating or pursuing life long relationships with a guy, but if I should find someone date worthy and we make something of it, I want to be able to know that I will be fine and quite capable all on my own if we might break up.

so often people get seriously emotionally derranged and lose themselves when they go through a break up. I know, I've been there. but I've learned a hell of a lot since then. that was when I was 16, and I'm 19 now. I've changed immensely. and I don't so much think I had the typical ordinary relationship back then. it meant a lot to me. but pain or not, I learned a lot from it. it's complicated, I'm sure, but I am going to guess that you'll trust me on this one.

I know I'm young yet and being that I changed so much in one year's time, as a part of my first year of college, I might change plenty more in all directions in my future. but my college experience was not like most. I had a life I was given that I didn't much like, so come college time I decided to make the best of it. most of my peers know nothing of how I feel about life itself, and how enamored I am with it. in high school I hated life and basically everyone. but I've grown so much since then and it's not something you can just tell someone about, then to have them change too. it's so much more than that.

I've also found incredible friends who make life ten million times more awesome, for when I choose to be a social creature. I am blessed in some sense and I am all about appreciating it & enjoying my time here on this beautiful earth. I am quite happy for those who can truly know what I mean, no matter their subjectivity.

post more! we all deserve it. =D
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new arrival [10 Aug 2004|02:28am]

elizasdream
I found this community throuth userquirkyalone</lj>. I live in an area where being single with no children is a rare thing. For me, being alone is the most natural thing in the world. I've recently had to defend myself to people who don't understand it. I read a wonderful book called Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto by Annali Rufus. I loved it, because her experiences mirror my own so closely. She argues that there are some of us hardcore loners that really (surprise!) do want to be alone. She tackles a lot of great topics in such a small book. It also introduced me to quirkyalone.
9 comments|post comment

wow! welcome again [09 Aug 2004|09:40pm]

systris
[ mood | ecstatic ]

hey i'm glad that this community just sprouted to life....i guess i should have made some tea! heh.

feel free to intro yourselves when you feel comfy to!

thanks for joining :)

-systris

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[09 Aug 2004|03:46pm]

arrogance
Thank God.

I'm a 22 year old female, perpetually single and quite happy about it. I don't feel I'm missing out on anything, and I'm getting damn well sick of the never-ending implications that I am. I'm also getting tired of the insinuations that because I'm single (and enjoy it, and want to remain single) I must be cold, afraid, heartless, lonely, unnatural, and any number of other offensive adjectives.

I don't know if this is something others can relate to, or if this is specific to my area and/or age group, but around here, there are a number of people who seem to think that they're incomplete without a signifigant other. Being single is worse than being dead; you don't truly "come alive" until you're in a romantic relationship with another person, who than, in turn "completes you" and makes you "whole." Or that, just because a romantic oppurtunity somes along -- any romantic oppurtunity -- that you should take it, by virtue of it being an offer.

I realize that not everyone involved in a relationship or looking for a relationship falls into this mentality, and I don't mean to imply that it's an all-encompassing attitude. But there are enough of them around for it to bother the hell out of me. I don't begrudge people their happiness, in whatever form it takes -- if you want to be with someone, bless you, I hope you are happy together. But please realize that your desires, where your heart lies, may not be the same as mine. What "completes" you does not "complete" me. If anything, I feel that being seriously involved would take something away from me. And I would hate to think that my happiness and my worth is determined by another person, and worse yet, one that may or may not even exist.

I don't dream of a husband or wife or kids or a home with a white picket fence in the suburbs. That's a perfectly wonderful dream, but it's someone else's. I know wuite a few long-term couples, my sister and her boyfriend as well as my best friend and her fiance, who are incredibly happy together, and I'm happy for them. But they are not me. I have a circle of friends -- wonderful people, for the most part, who I love very much -- and I have a number of dreams and ambitions, and I do not, nor have I ever, felt I was missing out.

Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling. I'm not an incredibly active poster (though I've been trying to change that), but I do want to express my appreciation that this community exists.

Cheers.
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hello and welcome [07 Aug 2004|09:42am]

systris
..to all that may end up finding this community...

My name is raequel and i am a single woman of 27, i'm wary of any form of long term committed relationships, and i'm of the mindset that there is more to life than chasing the elusive Mr. Right and having some impossible dream of family,marriage and kids. i will tell you that this is after falling into that mental trap of thinking for a period of time, i've re-discovered how good it is to live for one's self and truly be free to live as one wishes.

i know that there are more women out there that are living single lives without feeling a need to follow the status quo. and so i've created this community for those who identify as spinsters, quirkyalone, quirkysluts, single by choice. i welcome all women who feel so inclined to come on and join.

i hope to not only discuss spinsterhood related topics but also about the lives we live as single women, let's talk about our hobbies, our dreams, our friends and family, our travels. this is not to be a pity party, i hope that most of the people joining up will be those who have no problem with being single and of course i should go into that other murky subject - dating/sex related issues.

i can say for myself, just because i've decided to remain single for life, doesnt mean that i want to give up sex or an occasional date either. some spinsters and/or quirkyalones feel a need to be celibate, and that is their choice. no matter how you decide to live that part of your life, you are a spinster if you feel as though you are. you shouldnt define the lifestyle according to some twisted stereotype. Single life is as varied as those who live it.

that being said on with the show! post, comment and participate; and again welcome!
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