Raequel, Rose Bride Empress Returned to Reign (systris) wrote in spinstershut,
Raequel, Rose Bride Empress Returned to Reign

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can i rant a minute?

i had a tense run in with my ex-fiance and his new girlfriend. its not like i wanted him back but i hated the way that they made me feel for a while. but then i remember how good life alone is treating me and now that i look at it....he did me a big favor by fucking up the relationship we had.

i never would have known the freedom of being able to follow my own path, to not be bound by obligations to others, or to have to play a role as a partner in a burdensome coupleship.

as i look at the discarded wedding crap i bought when my ex and i were together, i see how much of a racket marriage is...millions of young women are being sold into this big scam about how much ONE day out of their lives makes their whole existance valid and then the 'happily ever after' bullshit that they expect from having an overpriced fairy tale wedding. nevermind the aspect of divorce and adultery, broken and dysfunctional homes that often are a result of the skewered expectations of those misplaced dreams, as a woman you are expected to conform and seek out this dream no matter what.

that means the Rules, hurrydating, singles bars, blind dates, online personals, and all that other bullshit people try to sell you on that 'true love' lie. not to mention the movies and tv shows of the ever present neurotic woman searching for that one man to make everything finally go right in her life...as opposed to doing that for herself.
you end up in a sick cycle of kissing frogs to end up with a supposed prince. fuck all that shit. i'm glad i broke my chains, i'm damn glad to be a woman of independent means. i know the truth now....the truest love i should seek, is the love, respect and honor that i should have for myself.
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I agree!!!


October 6 2004, 07:01:34 UTC 13 years ago

Hi! I enjoyed your rant...it's so true. Most of my friends are caught up in the true love bullshit. I feel sorry for them. I just keep thinking "Gosh, they are unnecessarily setting themselves up for a lot of crap."

You sound like you have made the same realizations as me- that you feel like you've been chained to these ideas (unknowingly) and now are breaking free.

Last year I had the great epiphany that it was MY decision if I wanted to get married and have kids. I don't want to do either. Both will hinder my creativity and independence. I don't want to spend my life taking care of family dramas.

It's amazing to me how everyone is so caught up in the need to get married and "be in love." I wish everyone would spend more time alone exploring their interests without distractions. As women, we can offer the world so much more by not following these societal institutions. We need to think hard before we add to our already overpopulated Earth.

I hate that so many people are going ahead with marriage and children when they really don't want to do either. Children deserve to grow up in houses where they are wanted by both parents.

My decision not to marry and have children hasn't gone over to well with my mom or family who think that I'll change my mind when the right guy comes along. It doesn't even occur to them that I'm NOT looking for that!

i'm not a big fan of anonymous comments but you seem to have hit the nail on the head.
I agree too. See the journal entry on my page to see why. Until I went through the hell I did this last year, all my life I'd been brainwashed into thinking you HAVE to be in love in order to be happy and fulfilled. Maybe, but with the right guy, not just any guy. And after I settled for Mr. Anybody just because he was good looking, I realized I was much happier without him on my own. He actually made me feel worse about myself as a woman, not better! I had to learn that I can be happy alone with just friends and family. I'm so burnt out on the love thing right now that I want it to stay that way. I'm glad for the experience, but I'd never go through it again if I had a choice. I had to learn that I can't force love, it has to come to ME. Right now, and probably for a long time, being single is what makes me happy. I didn't know what I had until it was gone. It's so good to have it back!